Get all 11 Quinn Cicala releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Fresh Brewed Live Sessions, Arkansas, New York Times, Cicala, Talkin to Breathe, Post Country, Dream I Had, House above an Apartment (2015-2016 Demos), and 3 more.
1. |
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I'm afraid that I will one day yell too loud and I will blow my voice out and I will bleed out of my mouth and I won't ever talk again, I won't ever laugh again, and I won't ever sing again to a lover, friend, or crowd
But I try not to think about things like that because I wanna be happy, I wanna be the smartest person in the room, and I want everyone to notice when I am present
I wanna be laughing at a joke that Jimmy said in a diner in Poughkeepsie and I am surrounded by all my friends
I know that it must be hard for you to handle when she is drunk and you're alone and you just wanna go home just know that you are strong, stronger than me, stronger than I could ever be in this life but I try not to think about things like that because I'm gonna be happy, I'm gonna be the brightest person in the room, and everyone will notice when I am absent
I'm gonna be laughing at a joke that my best friend said in a restaurant far away from here surrounded by all my friends but just know that you got my attention and I can only hope that I hold your attention
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2. |
Dreams
03:57
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Last Friday night I was holding onto every piece of knowledge that I've acquired over the past year and a half
I was making up every detail about a really shitty summer to convince myself that it was really wasn't that bad
I think that we forget ourselves and all of the good things like breakfast foods and being able to breathe
Well I never cared much anyway for alcohol or substances that make it so much harder to breathe
She said as she was leaving through the back door that doesn't close and as I took a closer look I was in a dream
I awoke so suddenly as I saw everything that had happened had not happened, it was all in my sleep
And as I got up to make a mental note about what I could never forget I forgot it just going through out my day
And now I guess I'll never know the look on her face or whatever it was she was trying to say
I guess I'll never know what she would say
The years pass by so quick and I am scared that I will one day wake up an old man
But I am bright and I will hopefully live my life the way that any person would understand but this dream I had was so intense that I lived a lifetime within my own mind but then my dream died and then my mind died and then she died and then I died
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3. |
Home 2
03:45
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Last night was an awakening for me
I was stuck in my own dream spelling out the words that had me running out to the sea and screaming your name at the top of my lungs
And you think that I'd apologize for something that was my fault
I've always had a thing for green eyes no matter what they say you're in disguise, you're full of shit, and I'm a hypocrite tryna find my way home
And mom's cooking dinner so I won't be home alone
I wanna travel, I wanna see, I wanna be there for everything, and I want a girlfriend who cares about me and supports me
I want a crowd full of people who know my name and know every line
I wanna quit my job, I wanna prove everyone wrong, I wanna write more songs and I want them all to be raw
I want my dog to be young again while I grow old but most of all I said I want you to go home
And the door's wide open you can come in if you want, there's no one in here but me but we're not making love '
Collect your things and say you hate me while I say that you look pretty
And everyone that thinks I'm genuine has something quite in store for them
I'm in it for myself and you of all people know that but I'm sorry
And I want you to go back home
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4. |
Country
01:51
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I wanna move to the country
I'll settle down and I'll never leave and I'll take this restless soul right into the ground
And when I run out of money and when my teeth are no longer clean at least I'll be able to reflect on all of my memories
Like the time we moved to the country
We thought it was so pretty and after the show in the next city and we'd just turn around and go back
We'd never run out of money, we'd sell tomatoes to the local market
And we'd never get bored because there were always chores to do
I wanna move to the country, I'll settle down never leave
I don't wanna move to the city, they'll have to kill me
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5. |
Flood in September
02:36
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I hate rainy weather but I love these days
I'm so happy, I don't wanna go home
And if it was up to me I'd probably make it a cycle where I'm always on the road
I can't read a single thing that I write when I get so excited
I'll probably make the best decision of my life when I'm older and out of time yeah but it's alright
You're probably watching a movie at your house, at my house
I feel really bad that I don't miss you because I know you're missing me
Maybe I'm selfish or maybe the shoe fits and I'm right about everything
But either way I'm in North Carolina mom at least for the time being
And I hope it doesn't flood till you're under the water just know that I won't be seeing you today or any other day
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6. |
August 2015
02:48
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Five hours of sleep and I'm still waiting for the caffeine to catch up to me
I feel a disease coming onto me like a side effect, it's called apathy
I'm taking my last breath, I've died a long time ago, I'm already dead
And I'm doing everything that I can to not end up in The Office
I'm crossing my fingers like they were stuck
I'm making out but it's not enough
It's not the half of it and I can't seem to cling to
That I'm on a path that I don't really mean to be on, to be on
I'm afraid that I've already experienced the greatest moment of my life, like I've already peaked
And every map that I read is just a waste of my time, it's all places that I'll never see
'Cause I'll never go anywhere but my work and home
And it'll lead up to nothing until I die alone
I'm gonna wallow in self pity and write songs about self-destruction
And I will be the one who tells you when I've had enough and I've had enough
I've had enough of being let down by the people who were supposed to turn me around
I thought you were one of them
I thought when we'd talk it wasn't passive aggressive conversation
About the time we drove through the hardest rain
And I thought that I would go insane
Because I couldn't see what was in front of me
And you told me this is no way to live your life
And I shrugged as if I agreed but I know that I'll never agree
I'll never agree
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7. |
From Miami to Portland
03:58
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A man walks into a crowded room and he sits right next to me
And everyone is talking loud as far as I can see and I don't engage because I figure there's no other open seats
And I'm just drinking coffee and I'm reading on my phone and as far as I can tell I feel comfortable at home in my hometown
This guy might be an out of towner
And he's looking at me until I look back at him
And he says "I've seen four years of combat my son, I would know of everything they don't want to show; it's the government, I'm into it, and I can see as far as the eye can see"
And I look and I tell him he is crazy, I say "get out of my face and let me drink my coffee in peace
I wouldn't bother you if you hadn't sat next to me"
And he gets up and he walks out of the front door next to the children smoking cigarettes on the sidewalk where the pavement ends and he screams
He screams "Lord I'm gonna die some day, one day this body of mine will stop moving and Lord I'm gonna cry some day when I see a child of mine that is breathing and Lord I'm gonna lie some day when everyone in my life asks me if I'm okay"
And needless to say I never saw him again
I wonder whatever happened to him
I think when it gets cold out and the nights are long and the summer breeze is dead and gone and everyone has their share of stupid problems and all of the fights are won
I think that's when people grow again and it's also when people die well I'm not the dying type and I know this because I think I've already died twice once in my mother's grave and my brother's too
Well how much fucking dying can you do?
I was the patron, I was the saint, I am the man who screams at the top of his lungs until he faints and now I am driving around
From Miami to Portland, I will be on the run and while the night is young, I suppose I will never see the sun or the faces of people I love or the man who haunts my dreams
It seems I'll never make it out in one piece
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8. |
Sleep
02:10
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I fell asleep on my side of the bed and with dreams in my head I lay still
And you stayed awake, though you tried you couldn't rest, thoughts were there but unfed with time to kill
And I can't complain because I know all my ways, I am an eight track that's facing towards the end of it
And they will know my name, they will hear what I say, and without you in my day I will take it
And in the morning I will equate my absentee with everything that I know you would never want me to think but my dream will die and then I'll die and then you'll die and then this bed will die at the expense of everything
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